What Happened to Your Life?

Still alive. Still energetic. Not too late.

Until you desperately want your life to change, nothing will change.

Do you ever wake up and remain in bed wondering why you're where you are in that moment, and how you pictured a completely different life?

How things are looking like ‘night’ compared to the ‘day’ you once envisioned weeks, months, or years back?

How nothing is working as it should and how, instead of the universe to be conspiring to get you the things you want, it looks like it is conspiring against you to take those things far away from you?

Do you ever just sit sometimes, and wonder, "what happened to my life?"

If yes, I'm glad to tell you that you're not alone. Billions of people feel that way too, some more than others, but everyone feels it, like they aren't where they are meant to be, and as counterintuitive as it sounds, feeling that way is good. In fact, many times, for something positive to come out of our lives, for something transforming to happen within, to, and through us, we have to feel it.

This feeling of being aware that you're not where you need to be is a pointer that at least, to a degree, you have an idea where you want or need to be, and knowing you're not there yet, feeling dejected about not being there will grow into anger that will push you from where you are now towards where you want to be.

It means you're fed up of where you are now, and like Ayodeji Awosika said, as cited in The Mountain is You, "You must find the purest, purest, purest form of being fed up. Make it hurt. I literally screamed, 'I'm not going to fucking live like this anymore!'

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A lot of people don't know what to make of this feeling, they don't know what to do about it, and so they simply wallow in it and it becomes depression because it remains untapped. They don't learn what that feeling is trying to teach them, they don't respond to those lessons and let it push them up to begin to ask for what they deserve out of life.

"What happened to my life?" Well, reader, my question to you would be, what exactly did you want to happen to your life? It's not too late to make it happen.

You planned to learn a skill at the beginning of the year and become very proficient at that skill, but you gave up after the first course at the beginning of the year, and instead you have used your year chasing frivolities, now you're on your bed wondering, "what happened to my life?"

You planned to build a tangible relationship this year, and it's just some minutes to the end of the year, you have wasted a lot of relationships, gotten in and out of many just chasing the highs when you know better, and now you're at that point asking, "what happened to my life?"

You were going to chase after opportunities, scholarships, jobs, like your life depended on it, but you coasted, you just lived every day as they came, because you had people to depend on for your everyday survival, now it looks like all you are in life is a dependant, and you're asking, "what happened to my life?"

As sad as it is, again, it's a good thing. It is a good thing because this awareness, if you allow it, can get you so mad and angry at how you've lived and cause you to act.

And that's what you have to do if you want anything to change.

Act.

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You're aware something has happened that you don't like, because of your inactions or because you tried and then gave up, or because the economic conditions just didn't seem to do it for you, fantastic! Now that you're aware, it's time to take action to change what you can going forward.

It's really simple. Don't waste time planning or thinking, that is what you've been doing all year, that is what got you here, that is why you're here and don't know where! That's not what will get you there. It's time to act. What do you want to happen to your life? Get out of your bed right now and take the next step.

The only reason why you wouldn't take a different action is if you're really not angry enough about where you are. It's if you still feel some kind of semblance and recognition about where you are, and you're okay with it, which means, in the real sense, you're not asking the question in the subject of this letter yet.

Until you desperately want your life to change, nothing will change, nothing will move the universe to do your bidding.

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There are many people obsessed about their life, their journey, obsessed about their desires, their purpose, and those are the ones the universe is attending to at the moment.

You can't want something just on the by-and-by and expect the universe to come and attend to you when there are people who are panting after their desires like a deer that pants after water for survival. You're nobody's favorite child! You will not be pampered by anybody. Your life will continue where it is if you don't act.

You must have heard, life don't give to us what we want. It gives to us what we desperately go after.

You've asked, "what happened to my life?" And now I'm asking, "What do you want your life to be about going forward?"

Forget all that's happened or didn't happen. Forget all the times you've messed up and all the things that you've done or failed to do that's brought you here. What matters right now, is what you will do now, and what you will continue to do going forward.

And it is to act. Act like your life depends on it. Act like you so desperately want to make some progress in your life. Act like you know exactly what you want to make of your life. Don't stall, don't wait, don't waste precious time, don't plan, act!

Here's what someone captured it;

"Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing;

Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing;

Making a to do list to do the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Telling people you're going to do the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Writing a banger tweet about doing the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Hating yourself for not doing the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Hating on other people who have done the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Hating on the obstacles in your way of doing the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Fantacizing about all the adoration you'd receive once you do the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Reading about how to do the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Reading about how other people have done the thing, isn't doing the thing;

Reading this essay, isn't doing the thing;

The only thing that is doing the thing, is doing the thing.

Just do the thing.

Move from asking what happened to your life to taking deliberate actions for what you want to happen to your life. You're still alive, you're still energetic, it is never too late to do the thing.

To your growth,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨