As someone who holds himself to a very high standard, someone who chases after knowledge at every opportunity he gets, I have come to realise that, while it generally is a good thing, it puts me at a disadvantage, especially when I couple that standard with my bad habit of overthinking. I'll explain.
You see, for the longest time, when I am in a group, in a conversation, whether it's in a corporate meeting or a very informal setting, every time a question is asked, or a subject comes up, I always try to provide answers and chime in the best I can, even with subjects I know next to nothing about. Why? Because I always feel like, "I should know this thing." "People expect me to know this."
While that has birthed the kind of tenacity where I always go back to my room — after spewing nonsense, of course — and research about that particular subject, right in that moment, I feel some type of shame that makes me recoil and retreat.
Instead of saying "I don't know it," "I don't know how to use it," "I cannot operate it," "I have never seen it before in my life," “Yes I come from a bush, and in my bush, we don't use something like that,” I go ahead and fumble, when I could just listen to others who have done it, because somehow, I long believed that it's a shameful thing not to know something everyone knows, or something people expect me to know — being the well-exposed, digital-savvy, knowledge-monger that I am. Until one day.
I worked in a start-up doing something spectacular in the renewable energy sector. As a result of my role, I was constantly fortunate to sit in rooms with unbelievably high-quality, peak performers in different fields. I was in one of such meetings on this day.
As you can already tell, I was the least experienced, least exposed person in the room. It was a meeting where I could regard every single person present as a mentor in different fields. That meeting became a working session, which then became a brainstorming session about a project we were bringing to life.
During that meeting, we stumbled on a technical task. While we were working through that task and I was busy feeling 'ashamed' that I didn't know that particular thing, one of the other peak performers present in that meeting said, 'We don't know this. I think we can leave it to the experts to figure it out. After all, it's not our jobs to know.' Everyone agreed. We don't know this. There are experts whose job it is to know certain things, technical things.
If all these prim and proper, high-performers who have worked their way to becoming top echelons in their fields don't know this thing, and were comfortable not knowing, why was I always beating myself up? Why had I been feeling ashamed all my life whenever I didn't know something? Why do I think everyone expects me to know everything? That's borderline insane.
I don't know everything, so why do I act like I do? Nobody knows everything, so why should anyone expect me to know everything? If I already know everything, what would be left to learn then? Why live a fake life when it's not even my job to know? Of course, I can learn about it. Of course, there are times I don't know something that is my job to know, but that's how I learn and improve, no?
Nobody knows everything, so why should anyone expect me to know everything?
From that moment, I started getting comfortable saying I don't know something or I don't know how to use something. I am now comfortable just listening and admitting I don't know, without necessarily feeling awkward or any other negative way about it. Instead of rambling in the moment, I can just listen and learn what I can, ask questions, and then later go and do some research about it if it is important for me to know.
The more I thought about it, especially from a high performer’s perspective, I realized that it is even more of a disservice to try to know everything, because then you won’t give other people the opportunity to shine, you won’t be able to concentrate on one thing that makes you a genius, at the top of your field.
Serial entrepreneurs, global employers and leaders, people who are at the top of their fields—like the ones I was in a room with that day—get there because they got to a point where they realized they needed people in different fields who know things they do not know to complement the things they know.
A businessman doesn’t necessarily need to know anything about cybersecurity. He only needs to concentrate on what makes him a businessman, while he hires someone who knows about cybersecurity. A leader doesn’t need to be a Change consultant. He simply needs to recognize when he needs a change in his organization and hire the right person to lead that change. An entrepreneur doesn’t need to be a graphics designer, too. The list can go on.
Dear Entrepreneur, here’s your cue to hire that social media manager, assistant, administrative staff, etc. You’re not too small.
This brings me to the Master Mind practice that people like Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, and Andrew Carnegie used in their time, referred to in Napoleon Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. People cussed out Henry Ford for being an uneducated man, and he shut them up by saying something along the lines of, “Why concern myself with things that I employ experts to concern themselves with?” AHA!
The point I am trying to drive home is this: You have no business feeling ashamed or awkward because you don't know something or aren't exposed to something, whether it is your job to know or not, whether everyone else but you knows it or not. It is fine to rest and admit that you don't know it, keep mum and learn, then further research later, if it is a subject you care about or should know.
In fact, it is a thing of beauty not knowing something because either of these amazing things will happen:
Active Learning: You get the opportunity to learn something new at that point that will help you going forward, something you’d potentially want to go and do some more research about to increase the quality of your work.
Passive Learning: You expand your horizon by learning something at that point that doesn’t necessarily show up in your daily life; something that you’d categorize as “nice to know,” rather than “need to know.”
Drive for Value Enhancement: You discover that you need to make more money to hire people who are experts in that subject matter to increase the impact of your work.
So, dear reader, enough of feeling ashamed about not knowing something. The person you are speaking with, who knows that thing, didn’t know it a couple of hours, days, or weeks ago.
It’s completely fine to not know. You aren't God. You aren't perfect. You don't know all things. Be done with that life, and embrace your growing process.
To Your Growth,
Your Coach,
Abiola Okunsanya,
Handzinspired. ✨
It takes a lot to admit to ignorance, and this is definitely a perspective worth exploring. Thank you!!
Thanks for sharing this insightful post! 👏🏾💯