SHH!!! THE SECRET TO LONG LIFE

An everyday secret to longevity.

Dear Reader,

You are extremely fortunate, true to God! It took many long years — 75 years of research by professionals to be exact, over generations, to discover this secret that I am about to share with you.

Researchers at Havard kept tabs on the lives of 724 men, and they discovered a positive relationship between two seemingly unrelated things. Follow me carefully.

For the past few months now, some of the books I have been reading, even when they have little or no bearing towards this particular secret.

From 5AM Club, to Give and Take, to Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, all of them have always found their ways to communicate it, and it wasn't until I was reading Indistractible, the book we chose for the month in our Book Club, did it only dawn on me what this secret was.

And then it impressed on my heart all the more when we talked about it last night.

What is this secret? It is the fact that the quality of your relationships determines the longevity and health of your life. Yes. The more quality relationships you have, keep and cultivate as you go on in life, the longer and healthier you live. This is the truth.

The higher the quality of your relationships, the healthier and longer your life.

I was talking about a research earlier. After monitoring the lives of more than 700 people, the researchers found that of those people, those who kept quality relationships and stronger ties lived longer, healthier and happier.

We all want that, don't we? Now we know a secret to having a long and healthy life, keep quality relationships.

The end.

I wish.

It’s harder than said, right? I mean, who doesn't like the sound of a quality relationship? Everyone does, but the truth is, only a minuscule of the population have the framework to building quality relationships. It's just hard!

Life happens, we get busy, we have seen cases where people who seemed like they would be friends for life eventually become nothing but strangers, or at best, hi-hi friends.

Not because there was any quarrel or feud between them, but because life happened, people moved, different cities, schools, careers, changed beliefs, etc.

As time goes on, there are many of our closest friends with whom conversations just start reducing, because interests start to change, and there's simply nothing to talk about anymore as we form newer, more immediate and more helpful relationships.

Some become distant ties, some become complete strangers entirely.

This is normal, and it happens to everyone. You won't get to keep all the friends you make, however knowing how to guard your relationships to the path of distant ties instead of falling off completely determines the amount of quality friendships that you build.

You won't get to keep all the friends you make, however knowing how to guard your relationships to the path of distant ties instead of falling off completely determines the amount of quality friendships that you build.

Yes. Adam Grant, in his book, Give and Take explained how distant ties are many times even more powerful than your everyday friends, because they bring fresh ideas from their own part of the world that will help you in any problem you're facing.

You are likely to learn more from someone you haven't spoken to in a year or so than you are to learn from someone you speak to every single day.

The friends you used to have, that you could not keep as everyday friends anymore because of your different paths to life, they either become distant ties, or strangers completely.

You can build quality relationships out of distant ties by reaching out to them once in a while, checking up and sharing ideas.

Don't make good relationships become strange ones all because 'life happened.'

Also, the people you call your everyday friends, people who you benefit from and give benefit to, you can transform them into quality relationships by letting vulnerable moments carve and shape your friendship with them.

I suggest that for these kinds of people, deliberately choose people whose values, beliefs, goals, and visions align in one way or the other with yours. People who you can easily share your dreams with and who won't think yours is a small mind.

Be intentional about keeping constant communication with them, at least once a week, or a few times a week.

Deliberately set up meetings, lunches, and dinners with them. Invite them to family functions, parties, visits, outings, invite them to pray with you, pray for you, read books with you, for in all of these, you are shaping a group that will shape your life and destiny.

Bonnie Ware, in her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she said that one of the top five Regrets of the Dying was that they had stayed in touch with friends and built quality relationships. Put exactly, "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

You still have the time to do that, and the skill you should build is intentionality and determination.

Recognize who your distant ties are, list them out and determine to reach one distant tie each week.

It is difficult, so you might need to prepare your mind, some will be pleasant, and you'll be glad you reached out.

Some won't be pleasant, but you will still be glad you reached out.

Pick one person, and call them this week, then call them in the next six months. Pick another the following week, do the same. And on like that.

As for your everyday, close friendships, find a way to make them know you are always thinking about them.

Deliberately schedule time for them. Reach them a few times a week and you'll see how happier you will become.

Building quality relationships is selfish, and at the same time selfless, for you will not only increase your chances at a healthy, long life, you will become a breath of fresh air in the lives of others.

This is one secret to longevity and happiness.

To your growth,

Your Coach,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired.