Peace Or Nonchalance

An unmistakable line

Have you ever been accused of not caring about someone or a situation as much as you should, even though you know with all your heart that you do? Or are you the type that visibly aches, worries, and pants about everything when the need arises?

There are two types of people. Those who panic upon every chaos, and those who are not moved. Let's take it one after another.

The former; the ones who are always panicking, anxious, and worried about what has happened, what they have to do about it, what has been destroyed, what they are going to lose because of what happened, what tomorrow holds as a result of it, you'd find that these people almost always make terrible decisions that further complicate what is already complex. Not only do they make the issue worse, they hurt themselves in the process. They get depressed and think things that aren't in line with who they are; they get angry and say things they don't mean, and then they go ahead to do things they will regret in retrospect.

But! There's an advantage to all of that. At least nobody will say they don't care, right? Nobody will say such a person is “nonchalant.” What they will say is that he reacts negatively because he cares enough; that she shouts and insults because she loves you; and that he is saying terrible things because he cares deeply about what he lost. She is panicking because that event might have just torn her life apart.

While all of this is valid, I mean, you can't exactly police how people react to situations, can you? No, you can't. But you can certainly control how you react, and because this is about you, and me, and our transformation, I will say this.

For the people in this first category, their reaction points to one grievous symptom; a lack of anchor.

This newsletter wasn't going to be about this first set of people, so I'm going to tie it here with the next paragraph.

Picture a ship or a boat tied to an anchor. No matter how far that ship goes, no matter what happens on the sea, it will always come back to the anchor.

For people, the anchor is a deep knowing — some others even call it a conviction. No matter what happens to us in life, no matter how far we go, no matter the turbulence at this sea called life, as long as we are tied to that anchor, we will be measured, we will be hinged, and we will be grounded.

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The second category of people are those who are not moved. In this category, there, there are two sub-groups. There are people who just do not give any care in the world about whatever is going on with you, or even with them. They don't take anything seriously enough to be moved by it. They breeze through life taking things as they come, accepting whatever is offered to them. They are the ones you call nonchalant. The ones who will watch themselves and everyone else drown before they realize they were even in the water.

There are a few reasons for this. Some are medical, and some are mental. Medical professionals will say that this is a symptom of depression. Psychologists will say it's a larger problem of you not being sure you're worthy of the life you're living; you know, the feelings of being an imposter in your own life.

Then there are people who look like they don't care about anything because they are not moved, when in fact, they feel everything, they care deeply, but they have a deeply rooted anchor; a knowing that almost looks like it comes from a higher dimension that cannot be explained, that everything will be fine, no matter what is happening in the moment.

This set of people believe that things are happening for them, rather than to them. They have a strong conviction for how things will turn out, so they see no reason to react negatively, no matter what is going on in the moment.

They've got peace; peace like a river. And this peace comes from that anchor, that knowing, that standing, that conviction. They look like they are not moved because they have been grounded. They strongly believe in something, and as the age-long saying goes; a man who doesn't stand for something will fall for everything. They stand grounded, hence they do not falter.

In simple terms, they behave like they have been to the future, and they have seen the movie's end.

See why you can probably mistake nonchalance for peace? Because these people are in the same category, but in contrasting subgroups.

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Now let's turn back to you. I want you to take a short introspection. When you are not moved in certain situations, is it because you simply don't care, or you have peace like a river?

The difference is that one group believes nothing and has no conviction, while the other group will stand to the death for that which is responsible for their peace. Selah.

To your growth,

Your Coach,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨