Nobody Cares About You

Not the way you think at least.

The only place where we are the main actors is in our own lives.

You know how we all try to live our lives through the lenses of what we think others think about us and so we try to chisel ourselves to fit a certain narrative, we try to appear perfect and try only things that we'd be perfect in so we'll be in their proverbial 'good books'?

Well, guess what? That good book doesn't really exist, and even when it does, it is not the primary material at the core front of people's lives!

Nobody spends time thinking about you the way you think they do. Nobody actively thinks about all your fuck ups the way you think they do. We are all wrapped up in our own thoughts about ourselves that we don't even pause to give other people the central point of in our lives for long, so why do we think other people are doing so?

We literally think about ourselves so much we think other people are thinking about us too!

The way you are thinking about what people are thinking about you, or if people are thinking about a certain event in your life is also the same way they are thinking about whether you're thinking about them or what you're thinking about them.

So you see? Nobody cares about you the way you think they do. All the thoughts you think they are giving to you are thoughts they are actually giving to themselves!

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We become completely liberated when we realize that we are not the protagonist; the main actor in other people's lives. The only place where we are the main actors is in our own lives.

This is liberating because knowing people don't think about you as much will help you not give much attention to trying to live your life on the basis of what you think they think you are, because they don't!

I meet so many people living their lives flawed on the basis of what other people think. They try to shape, reshape, chisel themselves to fit the imaginary thoughts of others.

They 'behave' themselves and never get creative or disruptive so they don't become the laughing stock of the century. They never try things that'd change their lives because they worry about the drags when they fail. They worry about what people will say about them, and what will think when they mess up and all.

Sad, but many people out there are living their lives through what they think is the lens of other people, when in fact, the lens don't exist.

Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves, their own failures, successes, pains, work, treasures that it'd be next to impossible for them to drop all those thoughts and focus on you, on how you fell down trying to climb the wall, how you failed at the business you were trying to build, how you lost your girlfriend, how you embarrassed yourself, etc. They simply don't care!

The only person that cares about you on the same level as you do is you! Or I'll rephrase; the only person that can care about you the way you think others are caring is you!

If there's one thing I learned from my years on Twitter (now X), it's that everything is fleeting. To everyone else, we are just a passing idea, a passing experience, a short news, a breaking story, a 'waka-pass' in their Nollywood film.

If you have ever been dragged on X, you'd get exactly what I'm saying. In that moment, it'd feel like the whole world is against you, and that your life is over, and everyone is thinking about you and cussing at you. But guess what happens when the next big thing happens? They forget you even existed!

If you have given too much of your mental power to what their opinions in the first place, you'd have played yourself and ruined your day or month or year even, all because of what? A few minutes or at most a couple of hours in the minds of other people who are irrelevant in the big scheme of things?!

At best, what we'll ever be is a main character in the lives of very few people who matter most, but we can never be the main character in anybody else's life.

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So, all the thoughts that cross your mind about what people will think or say if you fail, or embarrass yourself, or whenever you're about to make a potentially life transforming decision or action, such as start a business, quit your business, move religions, move countries, send a DM, openly express your feelings, apply for bankruptcy, run away with the love of your life (okay, not advisable! Lol! Or maybe it is. Only you can decide.) — all of these thoughts will keep you in your cocoon, and by the time you're 85 and you realize nobody really cares as much as you think, it'd be too late, as you would have been in one place all your life, thinking about what you think people are thinking about you, when you could have enjoyed a full life.

It is better you have it drummed in your mind right now that nobody cares about you the way you think they do, and start making decisions based on what you (and the very few people who you can categorically say you are an important character in their lives) believe is right for the kind of life you want to live.

This way, by the time you're 85, you'd have lived a full life, achieved all what you wanted, and experienced all what you wanted, because you never let the limiting belief that you are the main character in other people's lives hold you back.

To Your Growth,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨