Intentional Connections

Here's to finding Amplifiers...

What you do and become in life is a variable of many factors, and one of the most important factors, if not the most important factor, is your environment. Put in another way, your connections.

I recently had an opportunity to minister in my religious organization. It was such a huge privilege and also a once-in-a-blue-moon type of opportunity, one that I've always craved. But I turned it down.

At least, I almost did. And it would have weighed me down for the next couple of weeks, knowing who I am and the standards I hold myself to.

About two years ago, I had pitched myself as a spoken-word artist to one of the pastors I was fortunate to talk to. I simply told of how I used to perform spoken word poetry during my undergraduate studies in my school fellowship, and it'd be good to do so again on such a huge platform. It was just a conversation that I didn't even think would be remembered. Although I led a small unit of social media content creation, I was as far away from the pulpit as far away could get, so I didn't think much of it.

Fast forward two years, and a lot of things had changed. I now had too many responsibilities at work and school, working through certain transitions in my life, so I had taken a step back from my involvement in church activities. If I thought I was far away from the pulpit at the time that I was very involved, imagine how far away I had now been.

This background is important so you understand why I turned down the opportunity of a lifetime, at first.

Last Thursday, I was in my weekly ministry meeting, and all of a sudden, I was called upon that I'll be doing a spoken word ministration on Sunday. The correct word is "sprung up." It sprang up on me, and every element in my body said no. How do I write up a piece, memorize it, get into character, and deliver in front of an audience north of 300? An audience I had never faced before, only in pockets? Uhhh?!

Even though I had been shut down during the meeting and had to swallow my protests, I made up my mind, there and then, that it was not going to happen. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't even see how I would prepare enough to make it happen. It was impossible.

I forgot that all you needed was the right amount of motivation, someone saying the right thing at the right time, to jerk you into doing what is impossible.

That's exactly what happened. Friday evening, less than 48 hours to when I was supposed to minister the spoken words poetry, I reached out to the pastor in charge who had given me the opportunity, and I told him how it wasn't possible, and I won't be able to go through with it as I hadn't prepared or even written anything.

He spoke for just 4 minutes in response to my plea (or excuse, depending on how you look at it), and those 4 minutes changed my entire reasoning of the situation. So rapidly, I went from being so sure it wouldn't happen to excitedly looking forward to the event. And Boy! Was it glorious!

And this isn't just a single event. There are certain things I have achieved in my life that have been on the strength of the connections I've built. There are things I've done, not brazenly or out of 'Big-Boy' courage, but on the back of people I have dined with.

There are ideas I'll come up with, and if I truly want it to become tangible and leap off the paper, I know who to speak to about it that won't let me rest until I get it done. There are things I would have canceled, perhaps because of my unbelief in my ability to see them through, that end up being a beacon simply because there was someone who believed I could do them.

There are more men than there aren't, who are built on the strength of their relationships. There are people today who would have remained at Point A, except for the people who are in their lives that have somehow dragged out the kings from inside of them.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you should focus only on trying to build connections rather than on your mental talents, physical advantages, and character strengths. Not at all. We have men who have stood out based on their individual brilliance.

What I am saying, instead, is that there are people who are amplifiers. They amplify what you have on the inside of you. They are the fire behind your gunpowder, the mic behind your voice. They multiply and amplify the gifts you have spent time building.

Many people remain in obscurity today because they lack amplifiers. There is a formula to this thing, and it can be intentionally cultivated. Some people are lucky. They have amplifiers gravitate towards them naturally, because unknowingly, they have hacked the formula. Then there are some of us who must intentionally work out the formula to have people like this around us.

The brilliant formula to have amplifiers around you is for you to be an amplifier yourself. Intentionally be the person who pushes other people to be the best version of themselves, and then you'll find that people who are naturally amplifiers will gravitate towards you and push you out of your comfort zone into a success zone.

Another formula to try is to seek out people who are amplifiers. You'll know them by how well people around them are doing, and how they somehow happen to be a part of the growth of everyone. You could seek them out and intentionally insert yourself in their circle of influence. However, this isn't a long-term solution. Short-term fixes don't guarantee long-term solutions.

Here's the crux of this newsletter to you; to convincingly make it big, to truly achieve everything you hope to achieve, to break out of a cycle or a pattern you must have now identified, you must go beyond individual brilliance and intentionally surround yourself with amplifiers, and the surefire way to do that, is by being an amplifier yourself.

Be intentional about your connections. Don't spend your lifetime with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. The age-old, "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are," is still applicable even in the 21st century. And to expand the quote further, I'll say this, "Show me your friends, and I'll show you exactly where you're going."

Final question: Look at the people you have around you; do they believe in, and more than that, do they champion the journey you have embarked on?

Meditate on this, and act accordingly.

To Your Growth,

Your Coach

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨