How are you?

No, truly, how are you?

Let's take a breather from growth and simply just check in on ourselves right now. Really, take a breather. Breathe in.. And out.

Do that again.

One more time.

How are you? How are you doing in this moment? What is your state of mind like? Do you appreciate where you are and what you're doing right now? Do you love who you are and those you have surrounded yourself with in this moment? Do you cherish the lessons you are learning right now? Do you relish the experience and challenges you're going through right now?

How are you? Are you happy? Are you feeling grateful? Lucky? Unfortunate? Desperate? Embarrassed? Hurt? Do you feel like all your eggs are hatching unto goodness, or like the life keeps deliberately egging you because for some weird reason, life doesn't like you? Do you feel like you don't deserve all that you're going through right now? That you're too good to be going through the pain and hardship?

How are you, really? Do you feel overwhelmed by all of the growth happening? Do you feel like you are all over the place and don't even have a bearing? Do you feel like you don't have it together when you should? Do you feel like your peers have gone way ahead of you, especially people you seemed to be better than?

How are you in this moment? Do you feel like a fraud sometimes at work? Do you feel like you've got too much dependent on you and you have too little capacity to match them? Do you feel like you might break any moment from now? Like people are looking up to you because you look like you have it figured out when you are the most confused person you know?

Truly, how are you? Do you believe you deserve much more than where you are right now? Do you think you're doing the very best with what you have right now and you've got little to nothing to show for it? Do you feel left behind? Forgotten? Forsaken?

How are you?

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I just thought to check in, and perhaps remind you to also check in on yourself. I understand betwixt the buzz of life, rushing to work, looking for the next skill to invest in, the next course to buy, the next phase of life and all that, we forget to check in on ourselves, to check how we really are doing, to experience the present moment and do a proper life audit until we break down and it affects a lot of things. So, before that happens, I ask again, how are you?

No matter how you feel right now, the truth is, you're not alone, and in fact, many people feel a lot worse.

No matter how you feel life is treating you right now, the truth is, it is treating other people a lot worse. In fact, it could have been worse than it actually is right now. I'm not saying your experiences or feelings are not valid, I'm just saying you're not alone, and that it could have been worse, so maybe find the little piece points that will help you be grateful.

If you don't like where you are right now, don't feel dejected, as every point in life is a passing moment. A passing phase, and this too shall pass.

Think about the problems of yesteryears that made you feel overwhelmed, where are they now? They came and passed, and most likely made you stronger, made you a conqueror. Look at every challenge as an opportunity to overcome and build up strength.

If you're feeling lucky or unfortunate, just know that none of those feelings will last. It is in phases. When you're feeling lucky, make other people around you feel lucky they have you too, so that in days when there are downs and it seems like the world is crashing upon you, someone will make you feel lucky too.

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Take a breather, solve for how you feel right now and what your state of mind is right now, and then decide how you want to interprete it and what you want your attitude towards it to be. Don't be completely overwhelmed in how you are feeling or doing right now, because "this too shall pass."

Be grateful at every point, for where you are, for who you are, and for what you have, because we don't always get what we deserve and also because other people have it worse.

Don't compare yourself to other people because it'll only make you miserable. Other people have been dealt with different hands, are on different journeys and are at different points than you.

It is in knowing how you are in the moment, that you know what growth measures you truly need to take to be in a better position tomorrow.

So I ask again, truly, how are you?

I hope you write back.

Your friend,

Abiola Okunsanya.