High Horses

Get down before you break your neck.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Then weak men create hard times.

— G. Michael Hopf

You must have heard the expression "Get off your high horse" used on multiple occasions, for multiple reasons, especially to connote that someone has taken a position that looks superior, but in the end, will most likely lead to the detriment of the person.

Today, let's discuss High Horses.

The reason many people are currently experiencing stunted growth and even stagnancy in their personal and professional lives is that they have assumed a position on the back of that high horse, and this happens for a lot of different reasons.

They have either given themselves to so much learning that they start to honestly believe they already know everything, or they have been privileged all their lives and they generally believe they are above certain circumstances so much that they could never resonate with people on certain levels.

For the ones who think they know everything because of how much they have read and learned, they cheat themselves out of the curiosity that led them into learning in the first place, and gradually they stop learning and stay stuck on the idea that they already know it all. Even in cases when they don't lose their appetite for learning, they will still lose opportunities to learn new things because when they find themselves in positions where they are supposed to get curious and ask questions, their expert mindset hinders them. They go, "I am supposed to know this, how come I don't know it?" Then they beat themselves up, they feel out of place and resentful rather than just plain curious and ask the right questions.

It is easy for people like this to suddenly feel like an imposter or a fraud when all they could have been is curious.

Look, it's okay not to know everything all the time. It's okay not to know some things some of your colleagues know sometimes. It is absolutely fine not to be an expert in everything, because how will you learn if you are on that high horse?

If you find yourself falling into this mind trap, what you need to understand and put at the fore of your mind is that there's at least one thing every single person you will meet knows that you don't know and you probably should know.

There is something everyone, no matter what generation they are from, no matter what class of the society they belong to, no matter what level at work they are in, regardless of their age, or gender, or country, or tribe, there is something for you to learn from everyone you meet, every single day!

Knowing this will help you realize that you are not all that, and you need to get off your proverbial high horse and get on the playing field of life like the rest. On the field is where the crop is ripe for the harvest, no matter what class of society you belong to! Don't let the imaginary comfort you experience on the back of that high horse make you starve!

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If, perhaps, you are part of the privileged ones who have never known sorrow, strife, hustle, back-breaking work, hunger, and sweat, you should get off your high horse and sleep on the cold floor sometimes, because that's how you develop empathy, compassion, and a tough skin.

Having no teachable life experience is not the flex you think it is. You have the good time you have today because someone was strong enough to make it happen, and you know what made that person strong? It's the sorrow, strife, hustle, empathy, back-breaking work, hunger, and sweat that went through!

You must have heard that saying, right? "Tough times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, then weak men create tough times." Do you know what else creates tough times? High horses! If you don't recognize that it was the tough times that created the good times that made you ride on such a high horse, be rest assured that you will be pushed off that horse soon and learn the hard way.

It is time to shift your mind. Deliberately put yourself in tough positions to develop the necessary empathy and fierceness needed to live on the field, because again, regardless of what class you belong to in life, as long as you're not the only player in that class, it is a field, and for you to survive, you must be intentional about learning from everyone.

You can't do that on a high horse.

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I am not sure what this newsletter will achieve for you. Maybe it will help you recognize the fact that you can learn from everyone and so you should get off your expert high horse, or maybe that life is fair and can easily happen to anyone regardless of their class and so you need to get off your privileged high horse, or both.

I just hope it comes to your mind from time to time that you have little to no chance of surviving on high horses. Perhaps if you get off your high horse and play on the field like everyone else, you will increase your chances of surviving, and perhaps even thrive.

To Your Growth,

Your Coach,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨