Don't Kill Yourself

On a deeper level, it's about them, not you.

In the spirit of making things short, I won't greet you today. I'll just delve right in.

Let's talk about the Story of Narcissus. It's about a man who was impeccably beautiful, and he knew it. He knew and loved his pulchritude and whole essence so much that every day, he would stoop by the lake and contemplate upon his beauty. He was so sure that even the lake would be mesmerized by his allure and would feel lucky to be the tool of reflection he used to admire himself daily.

Legend has it that, one day, Narcissus was so fascinated by his beauty as he looked at his reflection that, he thought, only if he could just touch his reflection, perhaps he'd feel his essence a lot more. So, closer and closer he got to the lake until he fell into it and drowned.

That day, all the goddesses of the forest mourned Narcissus, for he died because he was engrossed in his beauty, a beauty they all thoroughly enjoyed being graced with. Then they gathered at the lake to mourn with her. They were sure she was the one who’d be most affected by the death of Narcissus.

They noticed that the lake, which had previously been a body of fresh water had turned salty, and of course, they understood. The lake had been crying, and so they asked, "Why do you weep?"

"I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied.

"Ahh! Of course, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus," they said, "for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."

Then the lake replied, "Wait a minute!" Her eyes bulged, "Do you mean to tell me that Narcissus was beautiful?"

The goddesses wondered what sort of tease the lake was, even in mourning. "You are even in a better position to tell us. Wasn't it by your bank that he knelt to admire himself every day? Abi you dey whine us ni?"

The lake was silent for a while, as she tried, to no avail, to see if she could at least remember what Narcissus looked like.

Finally, she sighed and said, "Yes, I'm sad that Narcissus is gone, and this is why I weep, and why my water has turned sour, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. The reason I weep is because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected. He was the mirror through which I saw my beauty, and now that he's gone, I fear I might forget what I look like.”

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There are loads of lessons from Narcisuss's story, in fact, it was from his name we got the popular word, 'Narcissism', but I'm only going to cull out one lesson from this story, and it's this:

All the people who you think are looking at you and thinking about your flaws or beauty or whatever else you possess aren't looking at you for you. They are looking at you for themselves.

Just for safety:

Dare I say even, that the reason you're loved or hated is because of what you reflect other people to themselves.

Allow me to break it down and end it there.

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You are living your life thinking people care deeply and unconditionally about you, but in fact, they are all out for themselves, in the good and the bad, and truly, it's not entirely a bad thing.

When people connect to your grace or your goodness, it is because of what they are hoping to get from it. They might be truly good decent people, but here, it is not entirely from the goodness of their heart!

Same way, when people vilify you, criticize you, torment you, or judge your shortcomings, I promise you, on a deeper level, it isn't completely about you! It is about who you remind them of; themselves! They look at you and they see themselves, and they hate what they see!

That's why you'd notice that the most gruesome critics are those who are running away from themselves. They are struggling indoors and posturing as perfect people externally.

That is the reason for the topic of today! In the good or the bad, don't kill yourself!!

Everyone, on a deeper level, is either seeing you as a reflection of who they are, who they once were, or who they can be.

Remember this in your brightest moments when the praises are about to drown the light out of your life, and in your darkest moments when the thick thorns of vilification and rejection are about to send you to your early grave.

No Gree for Anybody, because it really isn't about you. It is about them!

To Your Growth,

Your Coach,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired.