Do you have integrity?

The bedrock of all values.

“If you're willing to compromise on the small situations, then it becomes very easy to compromise on the big circumstances.”

— Brian Tracy

I just finished a book by Brian Tracy which a dear friend gifted me some weeks back, titled Leadership, and it reminded me of the most important value of all, as a leader, as a human being. It is the value of Integrity.

I'm sure reading this, you've heard about integrity time and again, for many years, how it is good to be honest, how integrity means doing the right things and all, and how it is one of the numerous values like kindness, gentleness, punctuality, discipline, diligence, etcetera, but guys, it is a lot more than that.

Brian Tracy in his book told a story of how, in a boardroom some years back, one of the leaders said that to him, integrity isn't a value in itself. Integrity is the value that guarantees all the other values.

This is profound because it made me think, you cannot perform the other values properly if you don't have integrity. Integrity is the bedrock of every other value you can claim to have. Integrity is the mother of them all, because she carries in her womb all the other values like kindness, diligence, goodness, respect, punctuality, accountability, responsibility, you name it.

I ran a random poll a while back, asking people what they understand by integrity, and many said that, integrity is doing what is right. They were correct, but if you think that's all integrity is, then you limit the potential that it carries.

Integrity isn't simply doing what is right, but it is doing what is right even when nobody is watching. It is doing what is right not for anything else but because it is the right thing to do.

Integrity is doing what is right because it is the right thing to do.

Another brilliant definition of Integrity that I've taken up as my anchor over the years is this, integrity is making your words match your actions. You are a person of Integrity when you do what you say and say what you do. There's no variation in the words and actions of a person of Integrity.

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Integrity is so important that, you cannot succeed without it. Maybe you will succeed temporarily, but you can never remain at the top for long if you are not one who values integrity. This is because you will cheat, you will cut corners, you will destroy relationships, and your journey will be cut short as a result of all the shortcuts and lies you tell since you don't care about doing the right things.

You'll be surprised that there are many people who don't care about doing right. All they care about is winning, regardless of how it affects others and the world at large.

You will be surprised that even you can be like that. You have friends who are like that. There are times you've even been like that to other people.

You have probably done "whatever it takes" to win - cheat, lie, manipulate, become creative with numbers, all to get ahead. But remember this, winners never cheat.

I'm not writing this to you to make you feel crappy or accuse you of something, no. Neither is this letter just tailored to explaining the meaning of integrity. Rather, it's to tell you that integrity can be everybody's lot. Integrity is not a gift, but a skill that comes with practice.

Let me tell you a funny story.

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For the longest time growing up, I told lies. Not for anything, but simply because I was good at it. I had mastered the art of telling lies that nobody would detect it was a lie. I was what you would call "Your Royal Lieness", because my lying was royalty standard. I did it just for the fun of it.

It was so terrible that I lied even when it wasn't necessary. Lying became a default position for me. I'll lie, then remember that there's no need to lie, and I'll now tell the truth.

However, as I began to come into myself, I realized I needed to change that habit, but by then, it was difficult. I lied unconsciously, and I started to tell myself, "I am a natural liar. It's my default nature to lie," until I came to the understanding that you believe what you tell yourself the most.

So I started telling myself that, "I am not a liar. I am a person of Integrity. I don't tell lies."

Did it stop me from telling lies? Not exactly. Not at first. However, my paradigm shift made it such that, everytime I told a lie by default, I remember that, "Abiola, you're a person of Integrity. You say things the way they are. Your words and your actions match. You are not a liar," then I'll go back and tell the truth.

It was difficult, especially having to go back to someone and let them know I had lied. After a few times, I began to dread having to go back to tell them I lied, so I simply stopped lying.

I carried that consciousness everywhere I go that, "I am a person of Integrity." It became a self-fulfilling prophecy to me.

And guess what? I have done the same with every other value I developed over the years. You too can do the same.

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I don't care much for where you are right now, whether you struggle to tell the truth, or to keep your promises, or to do the right things, I don't care much for that as even I falter sometimes. Remember last week's podcast? I am an Imperfect. You can listen here. I fail to keep some promises too sometimes, and it hurts me, because I know that's not who I am, so I try everyday to do better.

What is more important is what you will do from here on. Would you decide that you're a person of integrity and start acting in alignment with that person you are, such that when you do the wrong thing, you remember, "No, I am a person of integrity," and you correct it, or at least apologize and regret your actions if it's something you can't go back to correct.

This is how you become a person of integrity by practice.

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Remember how I said integrity is the mother of them all? It's true. You cannot be kind if you don't care about doing right. You cannot be punctual if you don't care about other people's time. You cannot be respectful if you're not a person of integrity who do the right things regardless of whether anyone is watching or not.

One of the last things I marked in the book, Leadership by Brian Tracy is this, “the true mark of leadership is how fair you can be when other people are treating you unfairly.” This is to tell you that never let your integrity be dependent on how other people behave themselves or on their own integrity or lack of it. Always remember you are a leader and a winner.

And for a person who wants to be a consistent winner, integrity is not an option. It is a must.

Start practicing integrity today.

To your growth,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨