Do this or be forgotten

Be the stream, not the rock.

Unlike many of my newsletters, I know exactly who this one has been written for. It is first for me, so I can come back in the evening to read it for the first time, and one other person who is right in the middle of struggling with a major change in his life.

I was going to start by saying that this newsletter will be short, but I've realised that every time I have said that, it ended up being the exact opposite, so I'm simply going to delve right into the next couple of paragraphs and hope that it will be a two minute read.

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When I ask people what the one constant thing in life is, they say growth, but they are usually incorrect. Growth is not constant. Growth is not haphazard or fixed. It is deliberate, intentional, and actionable. The right answer to that question is change. Change is the one constant thing in life, and I believe that there's every likelihood that you're going through a point in your life where you are struggling with a decision that will change everything in your life.

You see, the thing with change is that it is fiesty, forceful, brazen, rude, nasty, curt, insolent, painful, but not shocking. It is not instant, except of course, in exceptional cases. Change is gradual. It will give you yellow warning signs, nudge you to make a decision in its direction, but you know the strange, awe-wondrous thing that happens? 80% of people don't heed the warning signs, they don't pay attention to those signs, and for the life of me, they struggle to keep things as they are just because they dread what could happen if they go in the unfamiliar direction of the change – only to crash, or hit an iceberg and sink.

I will use two analogies to hopefully help you understand what change is and how to relate with it.

Imagine you get on the road one day, you're driving a very familiar route you have driven for almost 10 years, such that everything you do on the road is purely by instinct, you don't have to think while adjusting your speed or negotiating turns accordingly, but all of a sudden, that morning, you see a sign that says "road construction ahead, slow down," or the sign on the road is routing you to a different direction and you say, "Arrgh! I'm not used to that! I am not comfortable with that! I have never done that before. I will go the way I know and at the speed I am used to!" You take that simply as an advice rather than the warning that it actually is. Chances are that you'd end up in a ditch somewhere, brutally injured.

You are the captain of a ship. You have locked on a direction that you have planned for months, with everything already taken into account. You're now on your way, on sea, with a couple hundred thousand souls, then you get a sign that some unusual iceberg was in the way about 1000 knots ahead, but you keep at it because you believe that changing the course of the ship will make the journey longer and you would rather not change anything as you hadn't taken account of the other direction before. And so you continue on the same path, hoping the ship is strong enough to surmount the iceberg. This sounds all too familiar, isn't it? You are probably thinking Titanic? If that's the case, I'll leave you to the rest of the story.

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You're reading this now and wondering why anyone would ever ignore that kind of sign, and perhaps you're even answering the question and saying only fools would, but imagine my shock that over 80% of people are behaving the same way with several aspects of their lives just because there is seemingly no immediate effect of it. Change is that warning sign, and not heeding to that sign will many times lead to trouble and regret.

There's only one right answer to changing situations; and it is to pivot in the direction of that change, not hold on to the familiar thing that you have always known just because you can't accurately determine the risks that are involved. If you resolve to stick to what you already know, you won't even be bold enough to research the risks involved in taking the steps that change is begging you to take, and invariably, after a long fight with change, you will lose. Sadly.

Let this newsletter be that encouragement you need to let go. Stop holding on to the old way of working and move in the direction of the change. Stop holding on to old skills when the world is clearly moving in a different direction. Stop holding on to old technology because the best that will happen is that you will become an antique shop. Whatever is begging for change in your life should change. It means something that used to work before isn't working anymore.

Don't stay loyal to old ways and ancient landmarks at the expense of your growth. Growth requires change, and change requires that you heed its warning and go in its direction. In the story of the rock and the stream, don't be the rock, don't stand on the rock, it breaks apart at the end of the day, no matter how long it lasts. Be the stream that keeps flowing and going in different directions.

You either change and grow, or remain the same and be forgotten.

And if this newsletter doesn't convince you, please find a book called “Who Moved My Cheese?” and read it this week. Maybe then, just maybe.

To your growth,

Your Coach,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨