COURAGE TO ASK

What's the worst that could happen?

Courageous people are simply people who perform little acts of everyday courage.

Have you heard the saying that “the world will never give you what you don't ask for”? It is not a cliche.

If you're reading this newsletter, there's an 80% chance that you grew up in a conservative culture where you were asked to always bow your head and give undue, inordinate regard to people older than you, or in evidently higher standing in the society, maybe by age or status, and whatnot, and this culture unconsciously informed many of our habits.

Since we want to respect and regard people, we tend to have an hint of anxiety when we want to engage in communication with someone perceived as a higher standing individual, and by default, we always assume that strangers have such a standing.

As a result, it takes a lot of courage for us to even communicate with other people, talk less of ask for a favor.

This anxiety, coupled with the fear of rejection has made us pass over a lot of subtle opportunities, made us lose several chances at putting ourselves in a more favorable and better positions in our lives. Only if we were taught growing up that it was okay to speak up and always ask the right questions.

Another reason why it takes a lot of courage to ask questions and ask for favor is that we fear being regarded as dumb. Imagine making mistakes and actually being dumb because you don't want people to think you are dumb! Jokes on you.

You'd never know what you can get if you don't find the courage to ask.

If you are like me, and you grew up in such conservative cultures and environments, it takes a lot of work to develop the courage to ask for favor from people, ask questions even when nobody is asking. It is a skill that is built the way drops of water built the ocean.

Until you develop the courage to ask, you will never receive.

Stare in the face of possible rejection and ask for what you want. If you continue to let what you want live and die inside of you simply because you're too scared to ask or too scared to be rejected, you'd never know what you could have become, and your life will be riddled with "what ifs."

Before I started practising little acts of everyday courage, I'd usually keep quiet and bear my pain simply because I didn't want to strike a conversation, ask a question, or request a favor and get rejected or get snubbed.

It was so bad that even when I'm pressed for a bladder relief and I didn't know where the restroom was, I'd keep silent and bear it until I figure it out myself. Which usually takes a lot more time and a lot more pain.

And guess what? Many times, I don't even figure it out until someone is sensitive enough to notice the discomfort I’m in and offer to help. This will not always happen.

These days, I realize I'm now comfortable to ask for favor from people, ask questions, laugh at myself, risk looking dumb, and risk rejection or getting snubbed because I learned that if I keep shying away from getting a No, I will never get a Yes.

If you keep shying away from getting a NO, you will never get a YES.

Let me give you a little trick I use that helps me summon the courage to ask. I ask myself, "What's the worst that could happen if I ask?" I mean, I picture the literal worst case scenario that wouldn't even happen in light years, and in my head, I find that even if this happens, I won't die. It won't change my name. It will literally change nothing. And I go ahead to ask. At worst, I get a NO.

Honestly, there have been many times I summoned the courage to ask and got a No. Even in those times, I still gain something. I gain an additional muscle to my courage, because the more I ask, irrespective of what the answer is, the easier for me to ask.

And then there have also been many times I got a Yes that opened the door of opportunity to myself and also other people just because I summoned the courage to ask.

The more you ask, the easier for you to ask again.

This week, work out your courage muscles. Courageous people are simply people who perform little acts of everyday courage.

You start with the courage to ask for favors from people, and more importantly, from the Universe. The universe will always give you what you earnestly seek for.

To Your growth,

To Our growth,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired.