Choose Your Attitude

Free yourself from the control of others.

So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we see things and respond to others makes all the difference.

— President Thomas S. Manson

I was always very reactive. My actions, moods, attitude towards other people were always dictated by the actions, moods and attitudes of other people towards me. When someone insults me, my day gets ruined. When someone touches a very sensitive part of me, my emotions, issues with my family, feelings, question my knowledge, and all those other things that tend to poke me in the wrong way, I react accordingly. I get ruffled up in my head and before I know it, I say and do things that I didn't even know were in my mind to begin with.

I noticed, I might be extremely joyous about something at the beginning of the day, and then someone comes around to kill that joy — many times, unknowingly — by saying some reckless words, or doing some reckless things. It could be that I overhear something somebody was saying about me, or I discover that I've been 'betrayed' by the action of a 'friend', and that whole day is gone. I go into a mood swing, or I fight back, talk back, insult, rave, rage and lose the joy and peace I was enjoying.

Then at some point, it dawned on me that I am reaping the consequences of other people's actions, inactions and irresponsibility. Consequences that should be theirs, I mean, shouldn't you reap the consequences of your own actions and not someone else's? For too long, I let them dictate, influence and completely control how I behaved, lived, thought and acted all my life. I gave people too much power, I yielded the power that was mine to people, by being reactive. Responding according to whatever actions and irresponsibility that people decide to portray.

And until today, millions of people are still like that. Our moods are dictated by other people. We pick up the the attitudes and energies of other people. When one person decides to be unfortunate with and around us, we unconsciously become affected by that decision and behave unfortunately as well. And if we continue this way, becoming unfortunate at tiny moments of the day, tiny days of the year, these little drops of water becomes a mighty ocean, and we end up leading unfortunate lives.

In his book, The Light In the Heart, Roy Bennett asserted, "You are the Master of your attitude. You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control the way you think about all the events. You always have a choice. You can choose to face them with a positive mental attitude." That's the message of the week. You can choose your attitude.

Irrespective of the things other people do, that's their own cup of tea, it should affect them instead of you. Irrespective of the events of the environment, you can decide how you want to see it and how you let it affect you. The truth is, nothing affects you except you give it the permission. Nothing influences you unless you yield control to it. You are the master of your attitude, your thoughts, and you can choose to face whatever happens to and around you with positivity, with a preset, deliberately chosen attitude.

Action of the week: Your attitude dictates your altitude, and this dictates the direction and velocity of your life. Right in this moment, decide the attitude you want to have for the rest of the week. Do you want to be calm, joyful, enthusiastic, peaceful, reflective, kind? Decide and set it to default. Make up your mind that irrespective of what happens, you will remain this way. You will be in total control, and nobody will dictate your attitude.

Waking up each morning and making up my mind about how I want to feel and how I want to behave helps me keep control every day. It can help you too.

And if you are wondering how to decide on the attitude to set at default, ask the simple question, who do I want to become?

Cheers 🥂

To your growth,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired.