A Guiding Principle

Only What You Can Handle

For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

— Sir Isaac Newton's Third Law of Motion

For the longest time, there's been one sentence that has been my watchword and guiding compass. It's what helps me make decisions on anything, guiding my actions and my course in life.

There have been times I went against it, and I suffered greatly to know that this guiding principle — yes, it's time I called it a principle, gives one a shot at an ideal life.

Before I tell you what it is, I'll reintroduce you to Sir Issac Newton's third law of motion which says, "for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." Put more unsophisticatedly, for every action, there's either a consequence or a reward.

It is injustice to want to do something and not bear the consequence. The same way it would be unfair to try your hands in something good and ideal and not be given the dividends of your effort.

In fact, it is foolish to try escape the consequences of your actions, because no matter how long it takes, no matter whether it doesn't come when it should, the truth is you will reap the rewards or consequences of your action.

Let me say it in a more popular phrase that I'm sure you have heard even in the simplest of places, "You will reap what you sow." It doesn't matter whether you reap where you sow, or in the season when you're expected to reap, or how much you expected to reap, you will certainly reap what you sow. The only difference is time.

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Now, on to my guiding compass. It starts with a valid question. If I reap what I sow, is it not logical to sow only what I want to reap? If I don't want a mango tree in my house, wouldn't it be stupid to exert effort upon what I don't want by tilling the ground and planting mango seeds in my compound?

If I cannot afford to bear the rewards or consequences of my action, why take that action in the first place?

This is the train of thoughts that bore what I've lived my life by for many, many years. It's this:

Do only what you can be responsible for.

Take actions only on the results you want. Life is fair enough to have let us know the outcomes of whatever we do even before we do them. And if you're serious with your journey through life, you probably already have an idea where you're going, or at the very least, you have an idea of who you are and want to be while you figure out where you're going.

If that's the case, you're set. You know the consequences/results of any action you take, and you know who you want to be. The little important detail left is to make the decision to do only what you want to see in your life.

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Many people are out here being reckless with their lives, taking actions of which they know in their hearts that they won't be able to bear the consequences of, consequences they don't even want in the first place.

That's not bravery. That's not courage. That is foolishness. Blatant foolishness.

Doing only the things that you can be responsible for with your full chest will save you from a lot of anxiety, worry, manipulation, deceit, dent in values, in short, it simply saves you from becoming the very thing you have accursed.

It saves you from anxiety because you won't be on edge about a consequence you don't want of an action you have taken. You have sown the seed of unseriousness throughout a semester, and deep down, you know the reward for that, the reward for not reading is failure, and now it's time for exams and you are anxious, hoping to not get the consequence of your action.

You have a pitch at work you didn't prepare for. You know you're going to flop and mess up, now you're anxious. You have prepared to fail, all your actions have been towards flopping, now you're scared of the result of your action.

See? Foolishness.

It saves you from manipulation, deceit and loss of value because when you do things you can't be responsible for, you'll find all the ways possible to escape the consequence of that action. You'd finagle, betray, lie, steal, throw people under the bus, lose your integrity and your sleep. You will find all the possible ways to fix the issue and this turns you into exactly that which you didn't think you could be.

Again, foolishness!

A lot can be saved, a lot can be avoided if only we can stick to this one principle, that is to do only the very things that we can own up to, the things we can be responsible for, whether good or bad while sticking with our original values.

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Before you take the next action, before you sleep in late, before you decide not to read, before you do drugs, before you cheat on your significant other, before you have the unprotected sex, before you skip classes, before you decide not to prepare, before you spend the money, before you say anything, before you post anything, before you do anything at all, ask this same question, , "Is this something I can be fully responsible for?" "Can I be responsible for what comes as a result of this?"

Let the Isaac Newton's Law be in your mind always, "For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction."

To your growth,

Abiola Okunsanya,

Handzinspired. ✨